A while back, my sweetie pie was going through a rather tough time. He was still caring for his mother who had dementia. Early one morning she was rushed to the hospital. Though Mary was okay in the end, the stress on Ryan was palpable. A short time later, he got a kidney stone. The doctors sent him home and said, “It’ll pass in a few days.” As soon as the little beast moved on, Ryan got Covid. He’d managed to avoid the bug for years, but when it hit him, he was miserable. Then, his father died unexpectedly. About six weeks later, Ryan managed to get his mom into a nursing facility, a bitter-sweet moment. Mary had been running away and biting the home caregiver, and Ryan didn’t have the medical skills to take care of her anymore. I thought moving her to a home would be a relief, and while it was I sensed a tinge of guilt remained behind.
It was at that point that Ryan started cleaning. As he wanted to sell his house, he began sorting through his mother’s closets and boxes and drawers, an endeavor that took weeks, since Mary was a bit of a hoarder.
According to the Forbes article, “The Mental Health Benefits of a Clean Home,” cleaning is good for your health. “(It) might sound like something your parents may have told you to get you to tidy up your toys as a kid, but turns out, there’s some truth to it. Our environment plays an important role in our mental wellness, and keeping a clean home, whether that’s your bedroom, apartment or house, has a variety of benefits you won’t want to ignore.”
What are the advantages of cleaning? It can provide a sense of order and control, which can give us a better handle on our emotions. Cleaning also releases endorphins, hormones that can tamp down stress and act as a pain reliver. Tidying up can improve our focus, which allows our brains to concentrate on one task at a time. And cleaning can regulate our emotions because it “requires us to slow down, which can offer a calming effect during overwhelming situations…”
So perhaps I should not have been surprised when Ry announced that we should get a new shed. The one in my backyard had been a jumbled mess for years. No matter how many times I marched everyone out to clean up the shed, it would quickly return to an impassable room, random stuff tossed in and piled to the ceiling.
I couldn’t really argue about getting a new shed. A sprawling mesquite tree had grown over the top of the building and was slowly crushing the roof, so the contents were removed. Then, after numerous trips to Goodwill and the dump, the guys from Tough Shed appeared to build us a new one.
Ry loves to work with his hands and I caught him staring from the back door as the men put the new shed together. I couldn’t help but think that he looked like a little kid who wanted to go out and play with the other boys. Then I wondered if building things might also be benificial to one’s health and it turns out it is. According to Psychology Today, working with your hands promotes mindfulness and provides a sense of personal accomplishment, which reduces stress and anxiety.
When the shed was finished, Ryan began organizing the little room, building shelves, and finding perfect spots for the belongings we’d kept. The process is ongoing, but he’s getting there. In the meantime, I think I’ll let him be, since the shed seems to be a man-cave of sorts.
I think he’s earned it, don’t you?
YOUR FORGOTTEN SONS
INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY
ANNE MONTGOMERY
Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?
RELEASE DATE: JUNE 6, 2024
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Author Anne Montgomery 
Your sweetie pie doesn’t have to feel guilty for acting out of love, Anne. Been there too, and although my 94 year-old mom doesn’t have dementia, she does have other health issues that made my brother and I had to face, and put her into a long term care facility. So happy he’s beginning to care for himself. Great post, my friend!
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Thank you, Sharon!
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