I just finished reading a novel that was based in Ireland. As a women of Irish descent, I loved the descriptions of the rural town where the story was located, all wild green countryside and soft rain and colorful characters. And the story was dramatic and engaging with a missing teenager and mysterious events.
It seems lots of people like the book as it’s a New Your Times best seller with several pages of glowing reviews. Still, I’m hesitant to give you the title, since—as an author myself—I feel badly about denigrating others in the field.
Still, there are things I must point out. The protagonist is a former Chicago detective who spent 25 years as a cop in that gritty city. He moves to Ireland, burned out by his career and a messy divorce, looking for peace. When we meet up with him, he’s fixing up a rundown cottage, where he’s only been for a month or two.
So, what’s my beef? It’s the things Jim says. (Note his real name is not Jim, since I’m doing my best not to reveal the book’s title.) The words coming out of his mouth kept throwing me off.
“People are fierce talkers around here.”
“Well, I’m not rightly sure.”
“Much obliged for the meal.”
Ugh!
Like many of you, I’ve spent way too much time watching American crime shows and reading mystery novels filled with police personnel and detectives, and I’ve never heard one of them speak this way.
“That suits me down to the ground.”
“Looks kind’a loco to me.”
“Got a mess of perch.”
The author points out once or twice that Jim grew up in North Carolina, still that doesn’t explain his choice of words, or that he seems to magically understand terms the local Irish people use. When he’s told that someone “gave grinds,” Jim instantly knew the person in question was tutoring students. Jim also uses the word “townland” repeatedly, when an American would simply say “town.” It’s ironic that at one point the author explains, “One of the reasons he picked Ireland is so he wouldn’t have to learn a new language,” and yet, clearly, Jim has done just that.
“I was just tidying up this thicket of mine.”
“Sang like a little birdie.”
“This dinner’s down to you.”
And now I bet you’re thinking, “Well, gosh, Anne, why do you care about this?”
The answer? Putting this type of language in a hardened Chicago cop’s mouth is distracting. It makes the reader momentarily pause and pulls one out of the story.
Adding to the dialogue issue, is the fact that authors need to understand that people do things differently in different parts of the world. For example, remember the World War II movies where the Germans could pick out an American spy simply by the way they smoked a cigarette? Europeans would hold it between the thumb and forefinger, while Americans held a cigarette between the index and middle fingers. Similarly Jim says with much certainty, “Etiquette is stuff you gotta do just cause that’s how everyone does it. Like holding your fork in your left hand.” And while Europeans eat that way, Americans primarily use their fork in their right hand, with the exception of the times they’re cutting meat when they shift from left to right.
I will admit here that I have also been guilty of errors like this. In the early drafts of my recently published World War II historical fiction novel Your Forgotten Sons, I had soldiers in the 1940s starting Jeeps with keys and adjusting rear-view mirrors. Oops! They used push starters back then and the vehicles had no mirrors. So, I admit, we can all make mistakes. The point is readers want to immerse themselves into the novels they’re reading, into the landscape and characters and plot, but when authors are sloppy, the book loses its magic, something we should all try to avoid.
YOUR FORGOTTEN SONS
INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY
ANNE MONTGOMERY
Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?
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Author Anne Montgomery 
Agree 100%, Anne! Authors need to realize that they have to come from an authentic place in their books or they’ll lose readers. Cheers!
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Spot on, Ms. Sharon! 😉
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