Month: October 2024

Lies: We can and should do better

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Truth should matter, don’t you think? I mean, it’s fundamental that in order to make sound decisions that benefit ourselves and others, we should gather the facts, ruminate a bit, and come to a logical conclusion.

And today—Wow!—we have the world’s knowledge at our fingertips. Never in the history of man has so much information been available to so many. And yet, we seem to know less about the truth today than we ever have.

Why? The guardrails were smashed when anyone with a computer or phone could say anything at any time about anyone or anything, anonymously and without limits. Yes, I know that here in the U.S. we have free speech—and we could debate what that exactly means for a millennium or two—but let’s look at this like when we were kids.

Remember when your mom said, “Did you take that Snickers bar from the store?” And you pressed your lips together, and scrunched up your eyes, and considered which was worse, stealing or lying? Then you confessed and she made you apologize to the store owner and you had to put the candy back? There was probably some kind of punishment for your youthful transgression, but when it was over, well, at least you told the truth, right?

It’s pretty clear that the vast majority of us learned that lying was bad about the time we figured out how to color inside the lines. And yet today grown-ups of all stripes lie with abandon, then say something silly like, “Yes, I lied. But the underlying topic of my lie was important, so I thought I’d bring it up by um…lying.”

Does your head hurt? Mine does.

Now some of you may say that lying in certain situations is just fine. Like when mom is twirling around in a godawful dress clearly thrilled to death. When she says, “Don’t you love it?” You say…haltingly perhaps…“You look great, Mom.” And that’s just fine. No harm, no foul, in my opinion. Others might believe you need to bring the hammer of truth down on Mom and her purple-plaid dress, but not me, so we shall agree to disagree. However, when a lie can hurt others—human, animal, or the natural world itself—these fabrications should never get traction anywhere in our world.

So, what can we do to filter out the lies? Don’t share anything that you haven’t personally verified. Check the source of the information, check the bias of the source, cut and paste the information and do your own check, then pass it on to reputable fact-checking organizations. And please don’t tell me the fact-checkers are lying. I saw that recently and almost fell into despair.

And let’s not forget that words aren’t the only things that lie. Please put on your skeptical glasses and investigator’s hat when looking at those pictures of mermaids, the Loch Ness Monster, and other plants and animals that are clearly not real. Why add fakes to an already breathtaking world?

And here’s the really important thing. Get your facts from a bunch of different sources. Please, never, ever justify passing on a fact because you heard it on the one media outlet you’re glued to. It’s fine if you have a favorite news source, but be brave and check out a few others, especially those you don’t normally listen to.

In the end, the world will be a much better place if we put in the work and verify the information we’re passing around, because lies can hurt.

I know we can do better.

Now let’s all hold hands and sing Kumbaya.

Your Forgotten Sons

Inspired by a true story

Anne Montgomery

Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?

Release Date: June 6, 2024

Universal Buy Link

Amazon

Apple Books

Barnes & Nobel

Google Books

Kobo

Bookstores, libraries, and other booksellers can order copies directly from the Ingram Catalog.

Anne Montgomery’s novels can be found wherever books are sold.

Goodreads

Amazon

.

Preparing for retirement: It’s not all about the money

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I do a lot of podcasts on all kinds of subjects, and lately I’ve been invited to speak on a bunch of shows about retirement.

I know what you’re thinking. “We’ll of course you have, Anne! After all, you’re pushing 70.” Which makes me perfectly qualified to discuss all I didn’t understand before those Social Security checks began appearing.

First—and I’m guessing many of you already know this—prospective retirees must focus on their post-work financial lives long before the day they punch that last clock. Having enough money to live comfortably is incredibly important. However, a fat bank account and sound investments are not enough to make one happy. We retirees also need to consider how we’d like to spend our days.

Some of you are surely thinking, “I’ll play golf every morning!”, or “I’ll see my grandchildren all the time!”, or “I’ll travel the world!”

But here’s the thing. In regard to golf and other sports, though it pains me to say it, there will come a time when we are simply unable to participate in the sports we love. As far as the grandchildren are concerned, they have lives—school and sports and music lessons and camp and their peers. And as much as they love you, Grammy and Grampy, you are probably not anywhere near to the top of their to-do list. (Don’t hate me for that statement, just think about it is as dispassionately as possible.) As far as traveling is concerned, have you been out there lately? While I’ve traveled extensively and still do, all I can say is it’s exhausting, especially those long-haul flights with your knees scrunched up against the seatback in front of you. Navigating airports and time zones and hotels just isn’t as much fun as it was in my thirties.

Now, despite the relatively bleak retirement picture I’ve painted, let’s think about the things we can do. We can and should participate in sports and exercise regularly, for both the physical and social benefits they provide. We just have to adapt to our changing bodies and acquiesce when our bones suggest we try something less strenuous. Not easy, I know. I can’t ice skate or ski anymore, but I never considered pre-retirement that I would also be unable to officiate football and baseball. The good news is I can still swim and scuba dive. So branch out physically before you retire. Sure, go golfing if that’s your thing, but maybe try yoga too. Just find something that keeps you moving on a regular basis.

As for the grandkids, for the vast majority of us, that’s not an everyday thing, especially when the kids live far away. Travel, too, is mostly a special occasion, which means there’s still a lot of free time left in Retirement Land, so we must make a plan. For example, those who have a hobby in mind for those after-work years— like gardening, or cooking, or coaching, or painting, or playing the zither— should take a pre-retirement course. Check with your local college or community center and see what’s available. Doing this before retirement will let you know if you really do want to pursue the hobby. And if you don’t enjoy it, try something else. Just be open-minded and you might be surprised by what you fall in love with.

Now let’s talk about your social life. You need to get out in the world on a regular basis. Remember when you were working and you had to get up, get dressed, and deal with other people every day? That was good for you. You made social connections on the job. Approximately 76% of workers admit to having a close friend at work. But often, when we retire, relationships change dramatically. While we should do our best to stay in contact and get together when we can, remember that as we age friends tend to drift away, so our social circles shrink considerably, unless we make an effort to meet new people.

How do we do that? Find something you’re interested in and join a club where you’ll meet others with whom you share a passion. Also, don’t wait until your practically paralyzed by boredom to volunteer. We retirees are filled with knowledge and myriad skills that we should share with others. Sites like https://www.volunteermatch.org/ can help you find opportunities in your community. And don’t forget, no one says you can’t work part-time. So if you loved your job or always wanted to try a different one, go ahead. The idea is to get on a schedule. Even something as simple is deciding to read at a certain time every day will help.

Of course, I don’t mean your retirement world must be packed with never-ending commitments. Pick and choose what works for you. Stay in touch with family and friends, exercise, get out into your community on a regular basis, and I promise you’ll have a happier, more fulfilling retirement.

Your Forgotten Sons

Inspired by a true story

Anne Montgomery

Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?

Release Date: June 6, 2024

Universal Buy Link

Amazon

Apple Books

Barnes & Nobel

Google Books

Kobo

Bookstores, libraries, and other booksellers can order copies directly from the Ingram Catalog.

Anne Montgomery’s novels can be found wherever books are sold.

Goodreads

Amazon

.

A life lesson from a Major Leage Baseball player

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One of my favorite interviews of all time took place one lovely afternoon in Arizona during Cactus League spring training. Some of you may know that the Phoenix area bursts with ballplayers and fans every year in a runup up to the regular Major League Baseball season. It’s a pretty big deal, so it was no surprise that I found myself holding a microphone while basking in the popcorn-and-hotdog-infused air, waiting for the man I was going to interview.

Pitcher Jim Abbott played ten years in Major League Baseball despite being born without a right hand.

But first, let me mention that about two months ago I tripped in a pothole and suffered a severely broken arm, one that had to be surgically repaired and fitted with some mean-looking pins to put everything back into place.

I can’t say it hasn’t been a struggle. I really thought that when the cast came off and pins were out I’d instantly be running around like when I was 12 and fractured my wrist ice skating. I don’t recall any long, drawn-out rehab. It was just no more cast, you’re free, bada-bing bada-boom.

But, no. Two weeks after I had the cast and the pins removed, my biggest success was being able to touch my thumb to my forefinger. That was the moment I realized it would be a long time before my arm would be fully functional.

If you’ve never lost the use of an appendage, let’s just say it can be rather daunting. The idea that I needed help pulling up my pants was my first hint that things were going to be difficult. Put peanut butter on my toast? Nope. Fold the laundry? Nope. Unscrew a jar? Not a chance. So, as you can imagine, I was both feeling sorry for myself and was immensely grateful that my sweetie pie was doing all the things I couldn’t.

Still, I’m an independent sort and quickly got tired of asking for help. So, recently, when I found myself staring at my shoes, I knew something had to change. And that’s the moment I thought of that interview back in 1989.

A severely broken and surgically repaired left arm prompted the memory of an interview I did 35 years ago.

The ballplayer in question was Jim Abbott, a pitcher who over a ten-year career played with several major league teams and was on the California Angels roster that year. I can still recall being charmed the first moment he smiled. As a woman sportscaster back in a time when we were almost as rare as unicorns, I didn’t always get a positive reaction from those I interviewed, so I was delighted when Abbott put me instantly at ease. Still, I shouldn’t have been surprised, because Abbott understood about being different. He was born without a right hand.

“As a kid I really wanted to fit in,” Abbott said on his website. “Sports became a way for me to gain acceptance. I think this fueled my desire to succeed. I truly believe that difficult times and disappointments can push us to find abilities and strengths we wouldn’t know existed without the experience of struggle.”

I considered Abbott’s words, flexed the fingers on my broken arm, and remembered watching video of him fielding. Opposing players often tried bunting against him, thinking to exploit any limitations his missing hand might cause, but he would almost magically flip his glove, grab the ball, and throw the runner out at first.

That day, in the bright Arizona sunshine, I asked Abbott how he managed day to day with just one hand. “How do you tie your shoes?” I asked.

He laughed and explained that his parents never babied him. “They would just look at me and say, ’Figure it out.’”

With that in mind, I wandered over to the Internet for a solution and here’s what I found:

One-handed shoe tying

1. Hold one shoelace down with your foot, and pull the other lace tight. Make sure the laces cross over when you do this.

2. Make a loop while still holding the lace under the other shoe.

3. Bring the loop behind and under the straight lace.

4. While holding the loop in place between your thumb and index finger, let the straight lace out from under the other shoe.

5. Use your other fingers to wrap the free lace completely around the loop.

6. Use your thumb to push the middle of the lace through this newly formed loop.

7. Holding one loop in place with your free foot, pull the other loop tight.

That’s it!

Easy peasy, right?

Um, no. I still haven’t mastered it, but with the words of Jim Abbott ringing in my head, how can I quit?

“Figure it out.”

Your Forgotten Sons

Inspired by a true story

Anne Montgomery

Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?

Release Date: June 6, 2024

Universal Buy Link

Amazon

Apple Books

Barnes & Nobel

Google Books

Kobo

Bookstores, libraries, and other booksellers can order copies directly from the Ingram Catalog.

Anne Montgomery’s novels can be found wherever books are sold.

Goodreads

Amazon

.

Authors! Learn to love that microphone

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Writers write. That is abundantly clear. But is that enough in today’s whirlwind of book marketing? It is not!

Authors especially are sometimes categorized as introverts. Some of the all-time greats— Edgar Allan Poe, George R.R. Martin, J.K. Rowling, C.S. Lewis, and Agatha Christie are among the many that have admitted to being shy. Which makes me wonder how they would fair in today’s marketplace if they were just starting out. My initial thought is they would fail—despite their brilliant prose—because today authors must speak if they want to get the word out.

Here’s where I’ll point out that authors aren’t the only ones afraid of public speaking. It turns out that getting up in front of a crowd tops the list of American phobias. Over 25% of those polled say they would rather face drowning, bugs and snakes, heights, and claustrophobia among other perceived scary situations than get sweaty palms at a podium.

So, what’s an author to do?

Get better at public speaking! Get better the way we improve at anything. Practice! Practice! Practice!

Note here that in another life I spent a great deal of time in front of a microphone when I was a TV sportscaster. And over a 20-year period in the classroom I taught communications skills. So let me pause for a moment to put on my teacher’s cap…Okay. Good!

Admittedly, I’m a bit of a ringer since I spent a lot of years holding a microphone when I was a sportscaster, still I believe anyone can master public speaking skills.

Now, the first thing to remember is that you have a whole lot to say. You would not write books if you weren’t bursting with ideas, which means there’s plenty of material to mine for interesting things to talk about. So banish the terror of standing speechless before a mic.

With that in mind, you bravely agree to speak to a local book club, so the first thing to do is ask about expectations and the venue.  Where and when will you be speaking? How long will you be speaking? Is there specific information the host would like you to touch on? Will you be taking questions? Will you be at a podium? (For those feeling skittish, a podium can be helpful in hiding shaky knees and gives one a spot to place notes, as well as something to hold on to. While a podium might not always be available, it never hurts to ask.)

And now it’s time to decide what you want to say.

“Oh, gosh!” you’re probably thinking. “How do I begin?”

Glad you asked! Simply, in a few sentences, introduce yourself. While the host will no doubt give you a brief introduction, have your own prepared. And make sure to say how happy you are to have been invited, even if it’s a complete lie because your gut is churning and all you want to do is run away. Calm your nerves by remembering the folks at the book club are not mean high school kids who are waiting for you to fail so they can laugh at you. They want you to be great. So tamp down the terror and smile!

As for the talking points, take into account what the host suggested. Did she ask you to discuss your new book? Marketing tips? Why a weekly blog is important? The everchanging world of publishing? Take that assignment seriously. Do some research, but you don’t have to be an expert. Just share your personal experiences.

If the host didn’t specify a particular subject, talk about what inspired you to write your book, describe the main characters, briefly outline the plot without giving away any spoilers, describe the setting and explain why it’s important to the story, and talk about the road to publication.

It’s important that your talk is conversationl in style and that you make eye-contact with those in the audience.

Once you’ve got all the ingredients assmbled, practice your speech in the mirror. And if you’re concerned that you might lose your train of thought, feel free to keep some notes, but never type out your speech and try to memorize it. Go for the conversational approach and remember to make frequent eye contact with the members of your audience. It’s also nice if you can inject some humor at your own expense. Don’t shy away from the times when things went horribly wrong. I’m betting your audience will be able to relate to your disappointments more than your successes.

Later, after you’ve collapsed in your car, taken a few calming breaths, and checked your watch to see if it’s even remotely close to cocktail time, think about your performance. Note what went well, what went wrong, and how you can improve the next time, because there must be a next time. Remember earlier when I said “Practice! Practice! Practice!”? Well, I meant it.

Because public speaking opportunities are not all that common for most of us, I have a secret weapon in regard to practicing. It’s called podcasts. Because I’m way too lazy to do my own, I offer myself as a guest on other people’s programs. I subscribe to a service for $15 a month. (I use podcastguests.com, but there are probably others.) Twice a week, I get a list of podcasters looking for guests. Here’s where I’ll recommend that you don’t limit yourselves to literary podcasts, instead be willing to talk about anything you feel comfortable speaking about, because almost always the podcaster will get down to your books and a link to your website, which even happened when I was a guest on a program about caring for stray cat populations. There are podcasts on thousands of subjects, so don’t be shy. And be happy to be appear on any podcast. I’ve been interviewed by a 14-year old and had a blast. I’ve been on podcasts that have aired hundreds of shows and others that have only done ten. Every one is an opportunity.

And here’s the thing. If you don’t like how you did on a podcast, you don’t have to share it. Like the book talk, ask yourself, “What could I have done better?” Then make adjustments and put yourself out there again.

I promise you’ll catch on. And then don’t be surprised if, eventually, you find yourself loving that microphone.

You can check out my podcast page here.

Your Forgotten Sons

Inspired by a true story

Anne Montgomery

Bud Richardville is inducted into the Army as the United States prepares for the invasion of Europe in 1943. A chance comment has Bud assigned to a Graves Registration Company, where his unit is tasked with locating, identifying, and burying the dead. Bud ships out, leaving behind his new wife, Lorraine, a mysterious woman who has stolen his heart but whose secretive nature and shadowy past leave many unanswered questions. When Bud and his men hit the beach at Normandy, they are immediately thrust into the horrors of what working in a graves unit entails. Bud is beaten down by the gruesome demands of his job and losses in his personal life, but then he meets Eva, an optimistic soul who despite the war can see a positive future. Will Eva’s love be enough to save him?

Release Date: June 6, 2024

Universal Buy Link

Amazon

Apple Books

Barnes & Nobel

Google Books

Kobo

Bookstores, libraries, and other booksellers can order copies directly from the Ingram Catalog.

Anne Montgomery’s novels can be found wherever books are sold.

Goodreads

Amazon

.