An Open Letter to Facebook Scammers

Dear, Scammer, if you want my attention, get better at what you do.

Dear Scammer,

By the number of fake Facebook “friends” you send my way, I must conclude that you really want my attention. Well then, you need to get better at this.

First, get your names right. I can’t tell you how many times you’ve sent me men—always older men—with two first names. You know, like Bob John, Bill Steven, Lloyd William. These appellations are a dead giveaway that these people are probably fake.

Then there are the photos you put on these pages. I’m not sure why you think I’d be enticed by men surrounded by little children—kind of creepy—colorful balloons, flowers, and puppies. Not that those things aren’t nice, it’s just that you’re not putting enough imagination into it.  Come on. Take a little time and check out what I like, before you fabricate my dream man.

And speaking of my Mr. Dreamy, why is he so often in a uniform? While I admire and respect those in the military–as well as those cuties in their firefighting gear–the uniform thing is just a cliché. If you were one of my students, I’d give you a C- there for lack of imagination. And can you please stop sending me doctors and widowers? I’m curious as to why you think those guys are especially appealing.

It’s strange that you think a disembodied hand holding a flower would make me jump at friending someone.

Now, get rid of those round headshots. I don’t see many real people going for that look. And when that’s the only thing we see on the page that’s rather suspicious. Not to mention off-putting. That said, your fake folks do nothing but display pictures of themselves in hackneyed situations—the aforementioned children, balloons, flowers and puppies. Again, this does nothing but ramp up the creep factor.

I realize that someone on your end is tasked with supplying fake interests for your fake people, and, if nothing else, I usually get a laugh out of them. Richard Dick: Interests: power-lifting, scrapbooking, motor sports, flower arranging, and long walks on the beach. Really?

I’m not sure why, but I am periodically tempted to make friends with you, Scammer, just to see where our relationship goes. I know you’ll tell me I’m beautiful and that you love me and that you need money to escape a bad situation. And you’ll want my Social Security number and access to my bank accounts, all the while assuring me of your undying love.

Honestly, Scammer, what you do is sad and disturbing and you should be ashamed.

While this stuff is mostly funny, it’s also depressing. I’m guessing there are millions of scammers like you out there, and the only reason for your proliferation is that this approach works! How is that even possible? Who could be sad and lonely enough not to see through your masquerade?

That said, shame on you for taking advantage of those poor people. Can you even look in the mirror? Go ahead. Try it. I dare you. Are you proud of yourself after your day at the office? Or, more likely, in your mommy’s basement?

Here’s an idea. Make your own Facebook page. Let’s see what you’re about. Let’s see how many “friends” you can get sharing your own picture and interests. Methinks, not so many.

Perhaps, you now think I’m cruel, Scammer, but you deserve any derision sent your way. You use people, probably with no thought about the damage you cause.

Your mother would be appalled.


Anne Montgomery



Published by Liaison – A Next Chapter Imprint

Rebecca Quinn escapes her controlling husband and, with nowhere else to go, hops the red-eye to Arizona. There, Gaby Strand – her aunt’s college roommate – gives her shelter at the Salt River Inn, a 1930’s guesthouse located in the wildly beautiful Tonto National Forest.

Becca struggles with post-traumatic stress, but is enthralled by the splendor and fragility of the Sonoran Desert. The once aspiring artist meets Noah Tanner, a cattle rancher and beekeeper, Oscar Billingsley, a retired psychiatrist and avid birder, and a blacksmith named Walt. Thanks to her new friends and a small band of wild horses, Becca adjusts to life in the desert and rekindles her love of art.

Then, Becca’s husband tracks her down, forcing her to summon all her strength. But can she finally stop running away?

Order your copy here:

8 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Facebook Scammers

  1. Thelma Reece says:

    It has become all to obvious that some people are nothing more than scammers. I’m ashamed to admit that about 10 years ago…I got taken…ever since then, if I don’t know them, they are not a friend of a friend, or are not in any of the groups that I am in, I flat out delete them…It’s very easy to spot a scammers profile, there usually isn’t much in it, they always say they either own their own business or are in the military…and some even go so far as to tell you that they are Christians…hahaha….my, my, my…this post is going to get a lot of use….good luck everyone.


    • annemontgomeryauthor2013 says:

      I agree, Thelma! And it’s so comical that they feel the need to tell us how pretty we are, as if a compliment will convince us that they’re real. I get the feeling they think women are pretty stupid. 😉


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